EUPHORIC ROLLER COASTER OF AN ARTISTS EMOTIONS...

EUPHORIC ROLLER COASTER OF AN ARTISTS EMOTIONS

I hate the "Come Down" from a creative high. The down time between the point I FINISH my current "Masterpiece" and BEGIN working on my next one.
It's like taking the "HIT" of your life. The ride up is a Euphoric Roller Coaster of Emotions. Raw, Pure, True.
Alas... you're listening to your soul, your true self is given it's time to speak and express. In a whisper...
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Yeeeeesssssss...
Then Finally... The project, the life work, the manuscript is complete.
EXHALE....
The reviews come in... They solidify everything you hoped but already knew....
BLISS...
La La La La La - La La La La La - La La La La Laaa La La La La La La.. Em Du Em Du Du Du Duuu... Ah-a-a-a-a-aaaa...
WAIT!
IT'S OVER!
What am I going to do next? Can I top that last work?
NO WAY.. IT WAS FUCKING INGENIOUS!
No... Wait... My High... Don't Go....
I'M COMING DOWN... AND I GOT NOTHIN'
I'M BROKE!
I frantically throw the metaphoric pillows off the couch in search of spare change...
I run to the figurative clothes hamper and turn all the pockets inside out.... Please let me find just One Red Cent... any glimmer of hope for MotivAtion to creAtion.
No... Nothing???
FUCK! I hate you.. I hate me... I hate everything ... Traffic, Television, Noise, People...
FUCK!
FUCK!!!!
Oh God... here they come...
No... please...
I can't see... They've blurred everything... these damn tears...

GOD, why do I have to be like this? Why do I have to thrive off of the creative aniMOTIONS that swiRL around in my mind, heart, and soul? Why couldn't you make me a Content Follower? A Mindless Robot happy to work my life away for the wealth and benefit of some other asshole? Why couldn't I just be....
WAIT A MINUTE...
Did I just say "A MINDLESS ROBOT, HAPPY TO WORK THEIR LIFE AWAY FOR THE WEALTH AND BENEFIT OF some OTHER asshole?"

That's kind of fucking decent...

I can create tons of shit off that statement alone... (in a whisper)
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Yeeeessssssssss....... (louder)
FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!

AND THE CYCLE CONTINUES....

This Was Written For the True Artist...
I Know Your Happiness, I Feel Your Pain, I Recognize You...

And Specially Dedicated to my talented, artistic and unpredictably rhythmic friend... Mams Taylor, who's LATEST masterpiece... is always an EVOLUTION of his LAST...

Crystal Lynn Mattison